In early childhood development, attachment and authenticity are not mutually exclusive. Children depend on their caregivers for safety, comfort, and connection (physical and emotional). As children progress in age, become exposed to external environments and develop character & personality, the interaction between the caregiver and the child evolves and sometimes this evolution is not fully compatible with that of the caregiver so the child is expected to conform. This pressure by the caregiver (or any extension thereof), although innocent, to conform, is where the child learns to ignore ‘gut feelings’ because the pressure to align compromises the child’s confidence to show up authentically (we give meaning to our experiences).
As an adult, this shows up as uncertainty, ignoring intuition (gut feeling), fear, anxiety, overthinking (all destructive behaviours) and so the process of unlearning and healing must begin; listening to our gut feeling, being curious and aware of oneself, self-observation – these abilities are meant to protect us from physical and emotional harm.
The relationship between parent and child is probably one of the most difficult relationships to navigate – especially in the world we live in today – perhaps it is worth establishing family values that serve as the moral compass and a clear limit of what types of behaviour is considered acceptable or not, this combined with communication, affection and acceptance will give your child a safe place to show up authentically and will also guide interactions with external environments.